Love followed by marriage. The happy birth of a child. A disintegrating relationship. The final straw - a contentious divorce with an innocent child torn between parents. Shades of Darkness, Shades of Grace has several intertwining themes; one at the very center of the story being the destructive nature of a divorce involving a vicious child custody battle and increasingly large monetary settlements. Divorce in and of itself can be nasty, but add a child and the issue of who gets custody as well as monetary support and the stakes are suddenly much higher.

The best and most insightful reviews of Shades of Darkness relate to the litigious divorce between Paul and Pamela; where a child becomes a mere bargaining chip and an entire family is devastated. Readers too, have connected with the story either because they’ve been through a similar martial break-up or know of someone who has.

In those instances where anger and hostility exists out of sheer vindictiveness, what about the welfare of the children?

Divorce in the U.S. is at it’s lowest since 1970 (3.6 per 1,000 people), yet one of every two marriages today still end in divorce, many of which include children. In Shades of Darkness, Paul Pierson files for divorce before his daughter is a year-old. Kaitlin is frightened and confused, and the Pierson family does everything they possibly can to comfort her and let her know her security isn’t threatened. According to research by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, children whether very young or older, do best when parents don’t engage in long custody disputes or pressure a child to choose sides.

Following are tips for parents who are divorcing:
Don’t put the children in the middle.
If you need to talk with someone, find a professional, but leave the kids out of it.
Keep routines as normal and consistent as possible.
Remember that children are just that - children. They are not a best friend or replacement for a spouse.
No matter what your child’s age, this is still a loss for them. Grief may come in the form of anger, depression, anxiety, or acting out. Get them professional help if necessary.
Unless this is an abusive situation, allow the children access to both parents.

There are also a number of good web sites dealing with the topic on the Internet. Children and Divorce is also an excellent resource site for all parties involved in a divorce: parents, kids, and professionals. The web site offers articles on the subject of children involved in a divorce, support group information, and counseling resources.

The Divorce Source is another site which offers helpful resources. The site provides an entire section dedicated to the effects of divorce on children and a wealth of resources and information on the topic.

Like it or not, divorce has become a fact of American life and too often children suffer the most devastating effects from the dissolution of their parents marriage. Resources and information on the subject can make a difficult situation somewhat easier, especially for the children.